It's August

I just realized that it's the first day of August. Imagine that.

This month, late this month, Lilou turns one. How fast time flies. I remember this same day last year I was wobbling about, feeling so heavy and tired all the time, ceaselessly telling her, "Baby, baby, please come out now." I was so impatient.

Now she's here, and every day she changes a little bit. Just yesterday she finally started saying "Papa" after weeks and weeks of playing with "Mama." This morning, perhaps feeling lazy and thinking a shortcut would do no harm, she was going, "MaPa."

When I look at her I often find myself trying to memorize the details -- how the folds in her thighs wobble as she takes her first steps, how she often forgets to stretch out her left leg before going down her red plastic slide; how she pouts and blows bubbles to clamp her mouth shut, to tell us she doesn't want to eat anymore. I memorize them for later, when these would all be but memories. I know that I could take the video camera and press the record button, but often, the time it takes to get up and get the gadget, the moment is over, gone forever.